Phéno: why do guys send us selfies of their machine?

In the past, our grandmothers received fiery missives, oceans of roses, rivers of diamonds. Today, to seduce us, the guys send us pictures of their penises. Why ? Good question...

According to a recent study *, 78% of women aged 13 to 34 (and 69% of 35-54 year-olds) have already received a dick pic , or a photo of a penis , erect or not (the stats are still unclear on the division). New muse of our ultra-connected image society, the dick, shot galore, is then proudly sent by their owners to their conquests supposedly hyper impatient to admire the machine. Supposedly, eh… Because many are those who do not fully understand the interest of these close-up yards appearing on an iPhone screen, over the photo of the kids and in the middle of a meeting ("Hello, this is the acorn! "). Yet, according to another study **, a third of senders hope to obtain the favors of their recipient. Half hope to receive boobs in return (aaaah, ok!) And a quarter say they are "proud of the way their penis looks and want to share it with others". Well then.

We all have three areas in common: food, family and sex. So, when we observe the torrent of #foodporn and #happymamma mania on Insta, we understand better why the social network, connoisseur of the digital era, banned from the outset this third segment of its editorial line. We can imagine with fear our cuty feeds flooded with #instadick and other #dickoftheday.

"Whenever there was a new technology in the history of mankind, sex was one of the first media to be conveyed there. In the VHS era, we exchanged tapes of porn. When there were webcams, immediately there were ass videos. From the moment MMS and other WhatsApp existed, dick pics inevitably landed ", explains Olivier Levard , author of Facebook: mes friends, loves, shit - the truth about social media ***. A smartphone grafted 24 hours a day in the palm, a penis close at hand… it is hard to imagine how a gaggle of male individuals would not have had the natural reflex to immortalize this attribute which has obsessed them since early childhood. Click. All that remains is to send it ... Or not.

Because the question of consent arises. Yep, a dick is fun. When we know her, and when you are ready to receive her unexpected visit in our field of vision. In contrast, unsolicited dick picks can be considered sexual abuse. Because, technological or not, the dick pic is neither more nor less than a sexual exhibition. In the context of an agreed game, no problem. But when in doubt, keep your pretty photo series to yourself.

Anthony Weiner (candidate for mayor of New York who posted a photo of his penis on Twitter following a handling error), Luc Lemonnier , Jeff Bezos (the boss of Amazon), and today, Benjamin Griveaux … Why the are men of power neneus enough to send dick pics and other dick movies to everyone today? "It's very healthy to have areas of your brain where you have privacy. All mega-stars can have things like that. And then, sometimes, the sex drive is so strong that it can nullify their discernment. intellectual ", explains Olivier Levard. Who adds: "It is the first generation of politicians to send dick pics. Mitterrand or Charles Pasqua probably would have done it if they had been the age of Benjamin Griveaux. At the time of Marie-Antoinette, people were exchanging little drawings of the queen having fornicating with men other than the king. What fascinates us is that the powerful are 'like us.' It is also said that the super stressful professions are jobs where sexuality is unbridled. The staging of power in sexuality is something as old as the world. "

Guys, know this: dick pic sent, dick pic shared. To girlfriends, of course. Otherwise it's revenge porn , and it's punishable by law (which will potentially be the case in the Griveaux case). Today, on social networks, we post a fictitious (or limited) intimacy, where we filter, market, pimp a life that is not really ours. Friendship, tears, death, sex, all this reality remains secret, entrusted only to our loved ones. So no, no offense to certain sorrowful spirits who argue that our private life is dead, it is not so when we take care to segment intelligently. "On the other hand, technology means that when it is revealed, it is no longer your neighbor who receives a letter from a crow. It is all of France that receives Griveaux's cock."

* YouGov poll, 2019

** The Journal of Sex Research, 2019

** From Michalon editions